Not gonna lie, I kind of love this current take on Cinderella being a drunk. As was pitch-perfectly displayed in the Saturday Night Live sketch, “Disney Housewives”, Kristen Wiig killed as Cinderella. I suppose we can surmise from the sketch that the princess became such a detestable person because she ended up marrying a Prince whose real passion is shoes…and men (and you know you can’t divorce in the Disney Universe). This has clearly taken a toll on her Disney-culturally-constructed pipe dreams of a happily ever after. I don’t feel too sorry for her though, since Cinderella is probably the most one-dimensional princess of them all. I mean, the best part of her story were her singing friends (which were mice, in case you needed reminding) and really the story comes down to narcissism and materialism. No wonder her life fell to shambles – poor girl didn’t even marry for love! But how would she know love considering the social and economic environment she grew up in? Wow, this just got a lot deeper than I realized. Life is a vicious cycle sometimes. Okay, maybe I feel a little sorry for her. Anyway, needless to say, I’ve never been much of a fan – I’ve always been more of a Belle, Ariel, and Pocahontas kind of girl. You know, the curious and compassionate type, with integrity intact, that befriends cute crustaceans, racoons, and the occasional candlestick.